Around the World in Eighty Tattoos

 I love tattoos. I think we're moving into a new tattoo era which is more about art and self-expression and less about 'a mark of a gang' tattoo prestige. I'm the generation who got taught by Lena Dunham to own my body and learn to love the bits I hated by turning them into works of art.

Unsure if the influence was actually Lena Dunham or a really incredible girl in my school who I obvs only looked at, silently, in awe- shout out to you Caroline Ward- you got a beautiful arm piece just after leaving school and I just though absolutely YES, you know?

 Don't think we ever actually spoke..I still remember how you did that talk about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books when we were all sixteen, before they were even a thing and I went to a book shop and bought the first book that very same day. You can be my cult leader any time...

Anyway doesn't everyone struggle with body positivity? But I can never stop bubbling over with joy when I think about tattoos. I'm not stereotypically beautiful but images and art tend not to have one solid line of 'what is beautiful' like Western beauty standards so when my skin gets endowed with them I can get that same burst of joy...

I got my first tattoo after attending the Rio Paralympics. I got my second as a stop gap after planning to get an extensive piece but then my friend's funeral was on the same day as the appointment and well, you up there, you ruined it! Six months later I got my first fun tattoo, less of a statement, more of a companion (not any less pretentious than a huge leg piece mind you).

When I travel for myself and not sport anymore (and have made an extensive fortune....) I plan to do a tattoo crawl and get a tattoo from each of my favourite artists. Should maybe credit my fav Aussie mechanic Mikey Winter, who travels the world with the team and stops off to get a tattoo at each place he goes...think Mikey may actually be my fav mechanic ever.

My first I got in my hometown of Glasgow (31/12/16)- creds to Kym at custominctattoos

My second was in my birthtown of Manchester (18/12/18)- creds to racotattoo

One day, I'm going to call the trip 'Around the World in Eight(y) Tattoos'-- *there are actually ~21 examples here*.

CANADA- Toronto

Jess Chen is an artist that has a range of different styles- to me, she's the one who can do these epic free full body florals and she is second to none, she also does tiny, cute fruit and flower pokes for those not so keen on the biggest tatt commitments.

Rat666tat is so astonishingly good at custom tatts, is there anything they can't do.  To express my individual soul and get some incredible colourrrr I'd go here!

SOUTH KOREA- I first got instagram solely to look at tattoos and all of the ones I was obsessed with continually came from South Korea- I'm unsure if they have finer needles, different and specialist ink or if I'm just the KPOP lover but for tattoos.

If I am so lucky to need a Tokyo Paralympic tattoo I want it to be Poly_sj who does it. They run a tattoo shop in Seoul. My first stop tattooing around South Korea because look. 

Tattooist_Dahh has so many different styles, focused on small intricate pieces playing with perspective. They use blue a lot (my fav colour) and landscapes but not always. Honestly, I would get all of the tatts that they have ever done. Too many to choose from, I just can't.

For highly stylised, with hints of tradition but modern colour intensive work it's Pitta_kkm... so bright...so detailed.

Incredible use of colour and incredibly realistic landscape shots daldam_ is just... how intricate can you get?!

Abstract human portraits and cartoon style or abstract scenery M_Tendo is your gal. Nothing has a face but everything is so identifiable? So INKcredible. Has this light blue that is everywhere in her work like a signature:)

USA- NYC

Eva is better than Van Gogh himself...she also does incredible original pieces...anything..everything..

The artist who really represents my brain if it was to be splatted against my body: julianllouve.

USA- CHICAGO

Keara McGraw was just meant to tattoo. I love her single colour linework, perfect chaos- intricate interlinking drawings of beautiful things. Her feathers and petals are just out of this world. Would just let her have my arm for doodle practice any day.

SPAIN-MALLORCA/ USA-LA

There is nothing Adamexiste can't do. Best at naturalistically capturing the unnatural- best at portraits?

BERLIN- there are too many in Berlin...

For motion, coffee cup, paint brush swirl, black, thick statement strokes, symmetry in the faux-accidental  I need heloise_florent.

I need to make a billion trips to Noiia Berlin and to Unikat Berlin- to all of their artists and residents..ever employed?

AUSTRALIA- MELBOURNE

For circle-line-triangle geometry, colour popping flowery beautiful complexity it's all about Luca. 

HUNGARY- if I get a piece by Balazsbercsenyi I'll need to be put into the Gallery for Modern Art.

INSTANBUL- hakandik paint mee. 

The colour work and accuracy when doing Munch lookalikes but for me that's the most beautiful sunflower field I've ever seen in reality or in tattoo: Ayhankrdg

ITALY- for watercolourrr, 3D blocking can't quite describe the beautiful style- Luca <3

Cowboy-maverick-starwars-helmet-stetson just joking my 2019 team isss Storey Racing!

Because of the Storeys and their vision, I can be a respected athlete taking up space in the cycling world and owning my place on their team for the third year in a row. I wanted to write a twisted, mysterious thankyou card and, like all my blogs, I've had it brewing (like Black Circle Coffee) for a while.

Best version of you: at first, the Storey Racing hashtag might strike too close to the 'live your best life' cliche pedalled by affluent, genetically-endowed instagram influencers. That is until you get shaken up by a big scare.

Say you're sitting in the doctors' office and they say you might have cancer. Then they follow that up by saying even if that's not the case you're in for significant surgery. Whilst you're trying to ignore the life that has started flashing before your eyes, they put you into a big blank, humming metal tube of oblivion (otherwise known as an MRI machine) where there isn't anything else to look at apart from your past regrets.

Then you realise, with a kind of floaty feeling, that you have been living your best life and are, right now, the best version of you. You realise, if you got given the grimmest of diagnoses you wouldn't change many of the big things at all.

I'm just saying if your world did flip for a second and you did see the world from a refreshing, if mortally terrifying, point of view (that turned out to be totally ok, in this little narrative) that you'd take the #bestversionofyou hashtag to heart, more than ever before.

The Storey catchphrase is on (and in) the hearts of their women's pro-cycling road team. Fittingly (tight fittingly...in the nice Le Col team Lycra) we have a heartbeat trace like a superhero logo on our jerseys. Actually, when I tried on the kit for the first time I felt very like one of the Incredibles.

 It is just as true now in 2019 as it was when I joined the team back in 2017 except there's Incredibles 2 which is even better than the Incredibles and is more about the supermum and super huge gurgling baby with multiple powers and a rather sleep deprived superdad...remind you of anyone ;)?

 The *best version of you* heartbeat is on each one of us and in us, powering us round our races, one maximal heartbeat after another. In this team though, it's not just about the self. Yeah, Sarah/Barney have got their name on it but we're all different and encouraged to be- road, track, cyclocross, youngster to experienced, para and/or legs of the gods. You can find it all in the team.

2019 to 2020 will be the qualification year of the cowboy-maverick-starwars-helmet-stetson of Huub Wattbikes' AND the victory & passion heartbeat trace of Storey Racing (so Mod that Team Wiggins brought out similar kit to us). I'm so grateful for their continued support as Mount Fuji's shadow draws nearer. Thanks to the sponsors for making it all possible:

Helmet? KASK 
Glasses? Adidas Eyewear UK 
Coffee? Black Circle
Gels? Secret Training
Power meter? Jam Cycling
Trike components? Brother Cycling/Phil Jones
Charity? Boot Out Breast Cancer
Healthcare? HMT Hospitals
Kit? Le Col
Recovery drinks? Lamb and Watt Tonic Water, Eisberg Wine😉
Soft tissue therapy? Holistic Life

Mon and I 💙💗

How I'm Going to Live my 2019 [trigger warning: suicide]

How I'm Going to Live my 2019.

Edit from 2025: grief is very hard to write about and I didn't do a good job here. However, this is one of my most viewed blogs. So, I thought I'd clarify right at the beginning; my friend D took his own life and on seeing the new year come in, when he couldn't, I felt he needed a blog post. 

----

I started this piece the night after I got home from seeing D in June:

"I went out with my friends last night and while they got progressively drunker and I stared into my alcohol-free Kopparberg... one of them, on his fourth vodka, had launched into a speech. It began 'no one would have taken the bet on Hannah when she was born' and I immediately tensed because I wasn't drunk enough to hear someone holding forth on my premature birth, well not drunk at all because I had my Cycling World Champs in a few weeks..."

At first, I titled this 'Know One Knows' which is chilling, now. The main theme was going to be my staggering ascent to being able to walk after all my surgeries and then racing my trike. After not being predicted to do much at all with my body and not being able to at various points in time my current level of ability often shocks me. The blog was going to be all the usual solipsistic Paralympic mush blah blah blah.

As with many unfinished blogs on my blog account, it stayed there. It stayed there and then, on a Tuesday night in summer, aged 23, D was gone. No one knew he was going to do it; not even the people he lived with who were closest to him. There wasn't a note, there was nothing at all but the train driver who saw him do it. I don't want that to be how I think of D. 

See, D had given me the speech he gave to wayward kids in his career advisory role. The speech that had made me write the blog. That unpublished blog sat here like the lump in your throat when you hear the words suicide increase in young men. 

The thing was, the speech was awful, cringey, sensationalist, littered with disability-cliches but the final sentence really did tie my future up in a neat bow for me right there, in a small Glasgow pub: 

"she doesn't ask people what she wants to do in life, she walks up to them and tells them how she's going to do it". It was so profound that I rushed home to write your words down, D.

That's the quote I start my 2019 with now. 

Exit stage left.

(for D.)

The Independent--- Emmen World Cup TT Round-Up (issue 2)

You know what's better than Love Island? Cycling Island! Also known as the 2nd World Cup in the 2018 UCI Paracycling Road Series. Brought to you by me (the team mate of those independents racing their hearts out today in Emmen). They will also be road racing tomorrow and the next day, too.

SIDENOTE: * Emmen is not an island but it may as well be (it is in the middle of nowhere with miles of blissful flat farmland stretching out in every direction).

So who raced today? See my infographic below:

But Hannah, how did they DO?? 

Matthew Faucher MH5

Coming in 14th out of the MH5s Matt must have had a fierce battle with comrade and competitor Justin.  Overall, ~5 minutes down from Dutch winner (home advantage!!) de Vries. Kudos for finishing with you and your kneeler in one piece. 

Justin Davis MH5

Coming in 12th, Justin beat Matt by 45 seconds. He possibly also rolled his kneeler but was able to continue after the crash only 4 mins down from De Vries. Top effort. Here's you looking dreamy on a beach in return for doing a kick ass TT. Welcome back!

Michael Swain MH4

OOFT the tables have turned. Alex beat Michael in the first World Cup MH4 TT (see my other blog) and now Michael comes back fighting and takes it off the lycra leopard. Yesss. I hope your bike is still orange as in a google photo I found. Netherlands victory colours here. 12th and 2 mins 35 secs down on American winner Davis. 

Mark Allen MH4

Mark is the second MH4usketeer coming in 19th and 3 mins 57 secs off USA's winner, Davis. You're brand new to this and have gone up a place since World Cup 1 only a few months ago. Yes, mate.   

Alex Brooke-Turner MH4

GWANNN. Alex, the lycra leopard of handcycling was less than second off Mike coming in at unlucky number 13. Incredible pacing to be only 26 deciseconds off your arch nemesis (ahaha) again 2 mins 35 secs off the winner. So much progress since Ostende!

Dan Hopwood MH3

THE BIKE DESTORYERRR. Not this time. Probably using borrowed parts since your bike destroying crash in Belgium...takes a while to get used to a new bike...27th and 3 mins 32 secs back from gold. 

Luke Jones MH3

Top twenty wahoo. 2 mins 48 secs off gold and 20th. Improved by more than a minute to the top step of the podium since Ostende, strong work.

Elizabeth Anne McTernan WH4

Strong 6th for Liz who is aiming for Kona 2018 and is more an ultra distance triathlete these days! 3 mins 44 secs off gold. Home win for Netherland's gold medal winner Jansen.

Karen Darke WH3

Introducing Karen or Dangerously Strong and Powerful. I took that picture in our room in Rio. Yes, that's right I roomed with a gold medallist. This is her first Paracycling race since then. She also dabbles in triathlon and has been doing adventure upon adventure recently ie she cycled across Australia after competing in the Commonwealth Games. She came 5th today. 1 min 50 off 1st place. America's Alicia Dana flew into 1st place (35 seconds faster than the WH4 gold medallist). V impressive.

Alex Pope MB and Neil Poulton PLT

Can't find any photos. Possibly your first one! Big kudos to finishing. 8 mins back from the podium is a tough place to be but to finish and take full opportunity of the race earns my respect. Well done boys.

Krispin Gardiner MC4

Young un with a big field. Lots to come from KG. 14th and 3 min 38 secs from gold. Very good for the youngest rider out of all the MC4s.

Crystall Lane WC5 

Had all the golds this year in World Cup 1. Poland's Anna got her but only 11 seconds to gold!

Matthew Robertson MC2

You should get a gold just for those highlights, Manny. Great hair that's what the public wants. Hair first, the golds will come. 11th and 1 min 38 off the podium. Closest to gold of all the off programme riders I believe!

Simon Price MC2

Simon back again for more pain. He podiumed in Belgium and today came an agonizing 10 seconds off the podium but Simon'll bring it tomorrow. 

Millie Cass WC4

Am I right in thinking first ever Road World Cup? 6 min 19 off the winner and 6th place but 15 mins faster than 7th place and made it to the finish in one peice. Big kudos. 

David Smith MC1 

10th and 2mins 38secs from bronze but only the second road World Cup as a C1 so still checking out his competitors. Go Dave.

The Competition Series- 1. Packing like a Pro

Really trying to get a weekly blog thing happening. (2025 edit, none of these products sponsored me).

This one was kind of requested. 'Hannah, how do I prepare to be independent on a competition, especially as I've never been to a big one before'. 

This is a multi-stage process. The first stage is TOOLS or I like to call them- 'life hacks'. Some of the obscure ones are hyperlinked to pages where you can buy them. I'll let you know if my team (Team Storey) is sponsored by any of them.

Here begins my list for someone with a kit issue size suitcase (I often don't bring all of these one competition but you can always team up)...


(No. 1 most forgotten item: plug adapters for country you're going to

No. 2 hard cash currency of the place you're going to. Foreign countries still charge a fee when you use your card. On all expenses paid trips you can even forget your bank code...)

Section 1 - food/drink vesicles

1. a mini kettle (actually, I'm not that into hot drinks but your roomie might be and they will love you forever, sometimes the staff will bring a communal one)

2. a big mug (I always need a huge drink of water in the morning and get sick of the plastic bottles, big mugs are great at breakfast time or for hotchocolate time)

3. a porridge bowl sized tupperware with a handle and a lid. Incredibly multi-purpose. Can be both your bowl and your mug and a container.

4. for those that need plastic straws, a lot of plastic straws seeing as they've been outlawed now.

extra info: 
KETTLES, or BIG MUGS or BIG MUGS WITH LIDS so someone who walks like me can carry without spilling. A tupperware with a handle and a lid is also brilliant if you're in a buffet style dining area and don't want to rely on someone carrying your food for you every meal or if you want to make up your own instant porridge because you're Scottish and how are you ever going to look like the porage oat man if your morning porridge routine is disrupted.

Section 2- Bed time/clothing themed items

4. a string bag for washing your clothes AND detergent capsules, usually you can team up with your team mates and go to a laundrette to do washing, usually you don't have enough for one load and usually, you and your team mate have identical kit. Wash in the string bag so you don't confuse your kit. Also if you're lucky enough that a member of support staff gets the job of washing you can hand them the bag and collect it later on.

5. your own pillow or, failing luggage space, pillow spray. This can be any scent that you train yourself with before sleep so that you associate sleep with it. Then, when in an unfamiliar environment a few puffs and you feel at home

6. Ear plugs (silicon swimming ones) and/or noise cancelling headphones and extra batteries. Vital if you don't know if your roomie snores or not.

7. Eye mask, not all curtains are equal and/or your roomie might be scared of the dark

8. All the painkillers/other pharmaceuticals you'll need in case of emergency. Buying pharmaceuticals abroad is not advised by the Anti Doping Agency, even ones like ibuprofen and paracetamol.

9. All the plastic bags or fancy material bags. A lot of times you'll be exhausted or trying to conserve energy. I have a plastic bag packing system of 'all bathroom items' in one so I can just shove it in the bathroom and that's me. One for 'beside the bed' and then one for each type of clothing 'race day clothing' 'leisurewear clothing' etc etc. When you pack up again you always have dirty clothes so you can use them to separate from the clean ones too.

10. Hot water bottle - if you get an injury and need to 'hot/cold/hot/cold' it a hotel will always have ice but not neccessarily something to heat with. Even in hot countries the evening can be chilly. If you have temperature control issues they're a life saver.

11. Leading on from 10 I can never get bloodflow to my feet so keeping them warm and comfy is a must. I also get lots of foot pain. Enter my fluffy slippers which have gone from South Africa, to Rio and now to Italy with me.

12. If you do find standing on a slippy surface like a non-accessible bathroom tricky, try non-slip water shoes or crocs. This means in the absence of a bath mat most falls are avoided. However, my feet often fall out of the crocs and don't even talk to me about flip flops or as I like to call them 'certain death'! Water shoes are the best. If it's a super hot environment (even too hot for my slippers) and everyone else is wearing flipflops, water shoes work too.

Foooooood

13.Treats/snacks and emergency meals. On competition nerves can get to you and stop you eating. You can also feel under pressure eating at certain mealtimes if you aren't hungry and then you get back to the room and you're starving. You can never rely on being close to the shops and the meals at your hotel might be budget or trying to be stereotypically 'health conscious'. Which means no drinks other than water, no desserts apart from fruit and yoghurt and often the same meal every single night. 

I have no problem putting on weight but if you have ataxic or dystonic CP you don't need these restrictions. Also, even if you usually do avoid calorie rich foods, competition environments can be extra stressful. Brains and immune systems use glucose as a fuel source; more so in times of stress. Pack treats. Once my friend Rickard (who has trouble swallowing when he's nervous) ate 2 big bags of sweets the day before his race to ensure he had taken on board enough calories. It's not ideal nutrition but some food is better than no food, especially if you struggle to put on weight and maintain muscle (looking at you, CP boys). In the absence of carbs/fats to use as fuel, the body will breakdown your muscles, yes the ones which you use to do your racing with.

Examples: soreen loaf, tubs of rice pudding, protein bars, energy bars, protein gels, oatcakes, sesame seed snaps, just add water soups/noodles, if you're a meat eater dried meat, popcorn, nutella, treats of choice etc.

14. Protein

Especially if you're a veggie/vegan or a pescatarian like me and are going to a country where that's not really a thing, bring your own protein. I always bring ready to eat lightweight tuna pots for meals where there's not an option for me or peanut butter or protein powder to supplement with (Storey Racing gets sponsored by Secret Training who also do protein gels, yum). When I started eating fish it was easier.

Liquids

15. Diluting juice, hotchocolate sachets, hydrotabs. Always a must in case the water doesn't taste nice or you are in a hotter climate.

16. Coffee/tea bags- most places won't have your fav type of tea bag. Overpack these because other team mates will have forgotten their ones (easy way to become 'team legend'. I'm not a tea drinker but I am a coffee cretin. Coffee is harder to get. Either ween yourself off coffee (good to do if you want the max effect of caffeine for your race) OR invest in 'coffee bags', vaccuum sealed coffee bags that you just add water to. Storey Racing gets sponsored by Black Circle coffee who make these. I'm one lucky cyclist.

15. Nutribullet- I know a teammate who blends all her food (like literally her chicken and veg) due to swallowing issues and won't go anywhere without her nutribullet. Remember to also pack a mini bottle of detergent and a cloth to wash it with, if you bring it! I don't do this because I really struggle to wash out stuff in hotels. It never seems to get clean and can stink a room out.

Entertainment

17. Kindle. Go electronic for books. I've done a muscle trying to haul a bag with 3 books through hand luggage. In stressful environments, your brain might want something totally different to what you normally read and you can have fifty options on something that weighs next to nothing. If you have a kindle with a light you can also read under the duvet so you don't disturb your roomie.

18. The cable that connects your laptop to a TV (everyone always forgets). You need a VGA cable and they are different for different laptops but the TV connection is always the same and a 3.5mm audio lead. You'd need a laptop for this too obviously.

19. Download films from netflix or from elsewhere. The wifi is always bad. Always download or bring a portable DVD player. 

20. If you're lucky enough to have a portable sound system, bring it. Music always changes a tense atmosphere. At the commonwealth's, in their goodie bags Team England athletes got one for free! Mentioned headphones in the sleep section but in case your roomie does not care for every episode of Love Island, bring them.

21. Cards! Get back to basics and get your team together to play old school card games (shout out to Beth on Storey Racing).

22. Adult colouring books and pencils. Very stress relieving (shout out to Beth and Monica).

23. If you have school/uni work, download it and ensure you won't need internet access.

24. A sharpie. Most kit is the same and to stop bottles or items getting mixed up this is always a go to. Also you can doodle on your kitbag in times of boredom or label your plastic bag organisational system. Or you can draw instructional phrases to remind yourself of things you might forget in the heat of a race.

25. A plug extension cable so you don't have to argue over plug access to all the electronic devices.

26. A swimming costume/trunks (unless you're on a swimming competition then you'd have one, right?). Some fancy hotels have hottub/sauna access, way to decrease spasticity or what...

Vital and yet such forgettable things

27. Suncream. One of my coaches once bought glitter suncream on purpose (cyclists love making their leg muscles look shiny) and then I also brought some along and we had great fun without getting skin cancer, yayyy. I actually favour sprayable suncream (ie an aerosol type so you can spray it upside down) so you can do your own shoulders but not need to reach anywhere tricky.

28. Sunglasses This was hard to rememeber when I lived in Scotland and it was always grey and cold but now the UK has turned into Spain maybe this'll be a silly reminder.

29. Tampons!!/period product of choice Nothing more stressful than forgetting these, hey gals. 

30. Plug adapter (saying it twice so we don't forget)

31. Foreign currency (did you know you can pre-book to pick up foreign currency when you get to the airport? Super quick and easy and cheaper than the post office)...(and again).

32. Scissors! So many things are made easier with scissors but put them in your main luggage...

33. Plasters. Those of you whole fall a lot like me (the downside to being ambulant with CP) or who get a lot of blisters/rubbing from wearing splints. Your team'll have some but maybe not the amount you need. 

Phew. Did you make it to the end. Think reading this is hard...trying packing it all into a suitcase!

Till next week...

Hannah xx