Friday, 3 May 2019

Choose your Own Sex- Confused about the Caster Semenya Ruling? This is For You!


                                      Choose your Own Sex                                                              

Image result for fight club bobMale is XY, female is XX-> yes or no

Male is penis, female is vagina-> yes or no

Male is testosterone, female is oestrogen -> yes or no

*count your yeses and/or your nos*



Image result for doug in Fifty first dates

1 or more yeses? I KNOW YOU WANT TO LOOK AT WHAT'S UNDERNEATH, have a cheeky wee read. This article is your business even if Caster Semenya's medical documents are not...


3 nos? Read for shits and giggles but you already understand basic science, congrats.

If you don't like reading here's a podcast/radio thing with my uni lecturer, Alun (listened for the science, stayed for the soothing Welsh accent).


If you’ve watched the best romcom and cult films of all time you’ll have seen consequences of testosterone abuse in male bodybuilders. In ‘50 Fifty First Dates’ the brother is a comic character because he so poorly covers up his doping behaviour and gives it away with that squeaky voice. Anyone remember Robert Paulson in ‘Fight Club’?

More testosterone doesn’t necessarily mean ‘more male’ because of the way we all have both oestrogen and testosterone and they can actually interact with each other and change each other’s production rates and things.
   
Pop-culture has been trying to tell you that for ages, even if you aren’t sciencey.

But are they a man or a woman? WE NEED TO KNOW. If you go through any kind of Biology education you’ll be presented with the two sex chromosomes- XX for woman and XY for man. These sometimes come with stereotypically male and female traits. What you really need to know is, whispers, there are more than two, woohoo!
Image result for sex chromosomes

Sometimes, if you’ve got a good teacher, they’ll tell you about the others- a singular X or XXY, Turner’s and Klinefelter’s and Double Y Syndrome and XXX+ Triple X Syndrome that challenge the binary. These are very rare but you know what’s rarer? A human that can break the 100m World Record…

If your personal definition of male and female is through external sexual reproductive organs
 You might be confused  when you learn that some XY individuals- if they have a very slight genetic mutation can be insensitive to testosterone and be born with what quacks like your average looking vulva (external bits) but be genetically ‘male’ and not have a full-on vagina (the passage to the womb because no womb). You know what occupation is perfect for T resistant individuals? Modelling! Some incredibly successful models are intersex with perfect boobs, minuscule fat mass and that to-die-for, no-hip pelvis (actually due to caesarean sections women with narrow  pelvises are surviving through childbirth so that particular ‘wide hip’ female trait is disappearing). If that’s your definition, genetics and external genitalia will sometimes be at odds and you might want to check your Western Beauty standards too…
Image result for Hanne Gaby Odiele

If your definition is ‘sex hormones’ oestrogen and testosterone
Then you’ll also run into trouble because you women who go through the menopause (or very old men) have a drastic decrease in both oestrogen and testosterone to such low levels that they may be neither male nor female. Same with people with eating disorders/relative energy disorder whose bodies stop producing hormones as a last-ditch to save calories.
Even with no genetic mutation the levels of ‘male’ and ‘female’ hormones can differ widely amongst individuals and at different times of the day and the month that there is no ‘one or other’. There are general ‘ranges’ like there are for wingspan and leg length but Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps got applauded for being genetic outliers. Applauded for being supermen.

Image result for michael phelps vs shark

(I read another article which said the Phelps Usain argument was invalid because sport classifies on sex, not arm or leg length.This is a valid point worth considering. So sport classifies on sex. Yet, there is not ONE thing that makes you male or female. It's a continuum or a spectrum like colour. A very, very complex continuum.

NOT THIS

MORE LIKE THIS




There's not a point where you can make a clean cut. So the IAAF have made a messy cut, a bloody and damaging cut and it's my female performance category you're cutting into, MINE. I have issue with who is doing the cutting because it isn't scientists. It's like your operating surgeon being switched out for a butcher who is ignoring the medical textbook and shutting his eyes.


Scientists know there are huge numbers of little variables that go into what we know as sex. Chromosomes are one tiny variable, hormone sensitivity, if you menstruate or not, if you use the pill and historic discrimination of access to sport. 

Men and women share portions of all these little variables and at some point along the spectrum the 'androgenic effect of the 'male' variables' club together to make men around 10% faster in the elite running discipline over all distances. 

At the same time, all the 'estrogenic effects of the 'female' variables' club together to make women around 10% weaker. Where the estrogenic effects are concerned though it's just a hunch. Science has not done nearly enough investigation into 'female' variables, so we basically have no idea how these variables impact performance. Caster has many of these estrogenic effects to make her performance well below your male sports category. 

She also has an unknown group of variables which currently make her women's 800m world champion. What I'm saying is the biggest variable might be her leg length difference just like it was for Usain- maybe Usain had much less testosterone than his competitors? That fact might have blown this debate out the water. But his hormone levels weren't available to the public. Because men are allowed to be supermen without investigation into exactly what makes them men.)
Addition made 2 days after original publish date on 5/5/19

I think the obsession over testosterone in females is so typical of a male dominated sports governance- it’s not all about dicks or rather gonads (the site of testosterone production in men, women produce testosterone too though WHOAH). But men are allowed to be super-strong and women are not. The site of this almighty and coveted masculine power…Who runs the world? Old, white men who are, SO IRONICALLY, dependent on Viagra, sorry Beyonce. Wait is that a man on your logo IAAF? By your definition I think it is...

Image result for iaaf 2019

When women show the same type of genetic abnormality- this time in testosterone production and/or sensitivity (you can have really high testosterone levels and no sensitivity remember) they are held-back. Similarly, my team mates still stress out about how muscly they look. Men don’t own the right to muscles and that sleek lean look. At the same time, I’m your classic big-hipped, fat-conserving female phenotype and I constantly feel pressure from the media to lose weight and look a bit more athletic. Stop policing our bodies, everyone!!!

Men don’t own the right to be strong. But this is what the IAAF are saying- you can be strong but not too strong if you want to be in within our definition. We must have all our female athletes look good in crop tops otherwise it won’t be good to watch, duh! 
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 It’s probably not even the testosterone difference that makes Caster stronger but if she gets breast cancer or an increased heart attack and stroke risk from oestrogen use it might make her weaker or…dead. The International Medical Association have strongly advised that no doctor carry out the tests the IAAF are asking because they breach the Helsinki human rights agreement.

Caster isn’t the aberration here. The IAAF is.
The one, poorly conducted study that the IAAF have based this decision on is wrong in almost every way. How do we know? Because science has distanced itself from it in almost every way. Their study was akin to the cigarette companies doing inhouse studies to say their products were entirely safe. They want Caster out and so they’ve made it so.

This is what women look like IAAF, get used to it but you don’t know because you don’t give us the scientific studies we need!

You do one substandard study that is fatally flawed and say that it’s enough because who wants to give women the time and access to real data that they need to be true performance athletes? Not you IAAF. I love science and what it can achieve. I’d fully support scientific studies to identify just what female variables were performance enhancing or not! You are teaching society scientific studies don’t matter. Oh yes they do. Women are so underrepresented in sports science data it is ridiculous. More please.  

I wrote this after alllll my athlete friends asked for my Scientist-athlete opinion. Trying to write up my MSc project and start my racing season. This I assure myself will be quicker than having 11 different chats! Just a quick messy one. Someone help me with my screen layout...how awful is it.


If you like reading and want more:

Here are three more good reads---

-this personal account
and
-this more sciencey one
and 
-this fully sciencey one

Thursday, 14 March 2019

Around the World in Eighty Tattoos

 I love tattoos. I think we're moving into a new tattoo era which is more about art and self-expression and less about 'a mark of a gang' tattoo prestige. I'm the generation who got taught by Lena Dunham to own my body and learn to love the bits I hated by turning them into works of art.

Unsure if the influence was actually Lena Dunham or a really incredible girl in my school who I obvs only looked at, silently, in awe- shout out to you Caroline Ward- you got a beautiful arm piece just after leaving school and I just though absolutely YES, you know?

 Don't think we ever actually spoke..I still remember how you did that talk about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books when we were all sixteen, before they were even a thing and I went to a book shop and bought the first book that very same day. You can be my cult leader any time...

Anyway doesn't everyone struggle with body positivity? But I can never stop bubbling over with joy when I think about tattoos. I'm not stereotypically beautiful but images and art tend not to have one solid line of 'what is beautiful' like Western beauty standards so when my skin gets endowed with them I can get that same burst of joy...

I got my first tattoo after attending the Rio Paralympics. I got my second as a stop gap after planning to get an extensive piece but then my friend's funeral was on the same day as the appointment and well, you up there, you ruined it! Six months later I got my first fun tattoo, less of a statement, more of a companion (not any less pretentious than a huge leg piece mind you).

When I travel for myself and not sport anymore (and have made an extensive fortune....) I plan to do a tattoo crawl and get a tattoo from each of my favourite artists. Should maybe credit my fav Aussie mechanic Mikey Winter, who travels the world with the team and stops off to get a tattoo at each place he goes...think Mikey may actually be my fav mechanic ever.

My first I got in my hometown of Glasgow (31/12/16)- creds to Kym at custominctattoos




My second was in my birthtown of Manchester (18/12/18)- creds to racotattoo



One day, I'm going to call the trip 'Around the World in Eight(y) Tattoos'-- *there are actually ~21 examples here*.


CANADA- Toronto

Jess Chen is an artist that has a range of different styles- to me, she's the one who can do these epic free full body florals and she is second to none, she also does tiny, cute fruit and flower pokes for those not so keen on the biggest tatt commitments.



Rat666tat is so astonishingly good at custom tatts, is there anything they can't do.  To express my individual soul and get some incredible colourrrr I'd go here!


SOUTH KOREA- I first got instagram solely to look at tattoos and all of the ones I was obsessed with continually came from South Korea- I'm unsure if they have finer needles, different and specialist ink or if I'm just the KPOP lover but for tattoos.

If I am so lucky to need a Tokyo Paralympic tattoo I want it to be Poly_sj who does it. They run a tattoo shop in Seoul. My first stop tattooing around South Korea because look


Tattooist_Dahh has so many different styles, focused on small intricate pieces playing with perspective. They use blue a lot (my fav colour) and landscapes but not always. Honestly, I would get all of the tatts that they have ever done. Too many to choose from, I just can't.




For highly stylised, with hints of tradition but modern colour intensive work it's Pitta_kkm... so bright...so detailed.



Incredible use of colour and incredibly realistic landscape shots daldam_ is just... how intricate can you get?!

Abstract human portraits and cartoon style or abstract scenery M_Tendo is your gal. Nothing has a face but everything is so identifiable? So INKcredible. Has this light blue that is everywhere in her work like a signature:)

USA- NYC

Eva is better than Van Gogh himself...she also does incredible original pieces...anything..everything..


The artist who really represents my brain if it was to be splatted against my body: julianllouve.

USA- CHICAGO
Keara McGraw was just meant to tattoo. I love her single colour linework, perfect chaos- intricate interlinking drawings of beautiful things. Her feathers and petals are just out of this world. Would just let her have my arm for doodle practice any day.


SPAIN-MALLORCA/ USA-LA
There is nothing Adamexiste can't do. Best at naturalistically capturing the unnatural- best at portraits?


BERLIN- there are too many in Berlin...

For motion, coffee cup, paint brush swirl, black, thick statement strokes, symmetry in the faux-accidental  I need heloise_florent.

I need to make a billion trips to Noiia Berlin and to Unikat Berlin- to all of their artists and residents..ever employed?



AUSTRALIA- MELBOURNE

For circle-line-triangle geometry, colour popping flowery beautiful complexity it's all about Luca

HUNGARY- if I get a piece by Balazsbercsenyi I'll need to be put into the Gallery for Modern Art.

INSTANBUL- hakandik paint mee

The colour work and accuracy when doing Munch lookalikes but for me that's the most beautiful sunflower field I've ever seen in reality or in tattoo: Ayhankrdg

ITALY- for watercolourrr, 3D blocking can't quite describe the beautiful style- Luca <3
















Thursday, 24 January 2019

Cowboy-maverick-starwars-helmet-stetson just joking my 2019 team isss Storey Racing!

Because of the Storeys and their vision, I can be a respected athlete taking up space in the cycling world and owning my place on their team for the third year in a row. I wanted to write a twisted, mysterious thankyou card and, like all my blogs, I've had it brewing (like Black Circle Coffee) for a while.

Best version of you: at first, the Storey Racing hashtag might strike too close to the 'live your best life' cliche pedalled by affluent, genetically-endowed instagram influencers. That is until you get shaken up by a big scare.

Say you're sitting in the doctors' office and they say you might have cancer. Then they follow that up by saying even if that's not the case you're in for significant surgery. Whilst you're trying to ignore the life that has started flashing before your eyes, they put you into a big blank, humming metal tube of oblivion (otherwise known as an MRI machine) where there isn't anything else to look at apart from your past regrets.

Then you realise, with a kind of floaty feeling, that you have been living your best life and are, right now, the best version of you. You realise, if you got given the grimmest of diagnoses you wouldn't change many of the big things at all.

I'm just saying if your world did flip for a second and you did see the world from a refreshing, if mortally terrifying, point of view (that turned out to be totally ok, in this little narrative) that you'd take the #bestversionofyou hashtag to heart, more than ever before.

The Storey catchphrase is on (and in) the hearts of their women's pro-cycling road team. Fittingly (tight fittingly...in the nice Le Col team Lycra) we have a heartbeat trace like a superhero logo on our jerseys. Actually, when I tried on the kit for the first time I felt very like one of the Incredibles.



 It is just as true now in 2019 as it was when I joined the team back in 2017 except there's Incredibles 2 which is even better than the Incredibles and is more about the supermum and super huge gurgling baby with multiple powers and a rather sleep deprived superdad...remind you of anyone ;)?

 The *best version of you* heartbeat is on each one of us and in us, powering us round our races, one maximal heartbeat after another. In this team though, it's not just about the self. Yeah, Sarah/Barney have got their name on it but we're all different and encouraged to be- road, track, cyclocross, youngster to experienced, para and/or legs of the gods. You can find it all in the team.

2019 to 2020 will be the qualification year of the cowboy-maverick-starwars-helmet-stetson of Huub Wattbikes' AND the victory & passion heartbeat trace of Storey Racing (so Mod that Team Wiggins brought out similar kit to us). I'm so grateful for their continued support as Mount Fuji's shadow draws nearer. Thanks to the sponsors for making it all possible:

Helmet? KASK 
Glasses? Adidas Eyewear UK 
Coffee? Black Circle
Gels? Secret Training
Power meter? Jam Cycling
Trike components? Brother Cycling/Phil Jones
Charity? Boot Out Breast Cancer
Healthcare? HMT Hospitals
Kit? Le Col
Recovery drinks? Lamb and Watt Tonic Water, Eisberg Wine😉
Soft tissue therapy? Holistic Life

Mon and I 💙💗

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

How I'm Going to Live my 2019 [trigger warning: suicide]

How I'm Going to Live my 2019.

Edit from 2025: grief is very hard to write about and I didn't do a good job here. However, this is one of my most viewed blogs. So, I thought I'd clarify right at the beginning; my friend D took his own life and on seeing the new year come in, when he couldn't, I felt he needed a blog post. 

----
I started this piece the night after I got home from seeing D in June:

"I went out with my friends last night and while they got progressively drunker and I stared into my alcohol-free Kopparberg... one of them, on his fourth vodka, had launched into a speech. It began 'no one would have taken the bet on Hannah when she was born' and I immediately tensed because I wasn't drunk enough to hear someone holding forth on my premature birth, well not drunk at all because I had my Cycling World Champs in a few weeks..."

At first, I titled this 'Know One Knows' which is chilling, now. The main theme was going to be my staggering ascent to being able to walk after all my surgeries and then racing my trike. After not being predicted to do much at all with my body and not being able to at various points in time my current level of ability often shocks me. The blog was going to be all the usual solipsistic Paralympic mush blah blah blah.

As with many unfinished blogs on my blog account, it stayed there. It stayed there and then, on a Tuesday night in summer, aged 23, D was gone. No one knew he was going to do it; not even the people he lived with who were closest to him. There wasn't a note, there was nothing at all but the train driver who saw him do it. I don't want that to be how I think of D. 

See, D had given me the speech he gave to wayward kids in his career advisory role. The speech that had made me write the blog. That unpublished blog sat here like the lump in your throat when you hear the words suicide increase in young men. 

The thing was, the speech was awful, cringey, sensationalist, littered with disability-cliches but the final sentence really did tie my future up in a neat bow for me right there, in a small Glasgow pub: 

"she doesn't ask people what she wants to do in life, she walks up to them and tells them how she's going to do it". It was so profound that I rushed home to write your words down, D.

That's the quote I start my 2019 with now. 

Exit stage left.

(for D.)

Friday, 6 July 2018

The Independent--- Emmen World Cup TT Round-Up (issue 2)

You know what's better than Love Island? Cycling Island! Also known as the 2nd World Cup in the 2018 UCI Paracycling Road Series. Brought to you by me (the team mate of those independents racing their hearts out today in Emmen). They will also be road racing tomorrow and the next day, too.

SIDENOTE: * Emmen is not an island but it may as well be (it is in the middle of nowhere with miles of blissful flat farmland stretching out in every direction).

So who raced today? See my infographic below:

But Hannah, how did they DO?? 



Matthew Faucher MH5

Coming in 14th out of the MH5s Matt must have had a fierce battle with comrade and competitor Justin.  Overall, ~5 minutes down from Dutch winner (home advantage!!) de Vries. Kudos for finishing with you and your kneeler in one piece. 
Image may contain: 2 people, people riding bicycles, bicycle and outdoor

Justin Davis MH5
Coming in 12th, Justin beat Matt by 45 seconds. He possibly also rolled his kneeler but was able to continue after the crash only 4 mins down from De Vries. Top effort. Here's you looking dreamy on a beach in return for doing a kick ass TT. Welcome back!
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Michael Swain MH4

OOFT the tables have turned. Alex beat Michael in the first World Cup MH4 TT (see my other blog) and now Michael comes back fighting and takes it off the lycra leopard. Yesss. I hope your bike is still orange as in a google photo I found. Netherlands victory colours here. 12th and 2 mins 35 secs down on American winner Davis. 
Image result for michael swain cyclist
Mark Allen MH4

Mark is the second MH4usketeer coming in 19th and 3 mins 57 secs off USA's winner, Davis. You're brand new to this and have gone up a place since World Cup 1 only a few months ago. Yes, mate.   
Mark Allen
Alex Brooke-Turner MH4

GWANNN. Alex, the lycra leopard of handcycling was less than second off Mike coming in at unlucky number 13. Incredible pacing to be only 26 deciseconds off your arch nemesis (ahaha) again 2 mins 35 secs off the winner. So much progress since Ostende!


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Dan Hopwood MH3

THE BIKE DESTORYERRR. Not this time. Probably using borrowed parts since your bike destroying crash in Belgium...takes a while to get used to a new bike...27th and 3 mins 32 secs back from gold. 
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Luke Jones MH3

Top twenty wahoo. 2 mins 48 secs off gold and 20th. Improved by more than a minute to the top step of the podium since Ostende, strong work.
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Elizabeth Anne McTernan WH4

Strong 6th for Liz who is aiming for Kona 2018 and is more an ultra distance triathlete these days! 3 mins 44 secs off gold. Home win for Netherland's gold medal winner Jansen.

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Karen Darke WH3

Introducing Karen or Dangerously Strong and Powerful. I took that picture in our room in Rio. Yes, that's right I roomed with a gold medallist. This is her first Paracycling race since then. She also dabbles in triathlon and has been doing adventure upon adventure recently ie she cycled across Australia after competing in the Commonwealth Games. She came 5th today. 1 min 50 off 1st place. America's Alicia Dana flew into 1st place (35 seconds faster than the WH4 gold medallist). V impressive.
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Alex Pope MB and Neil Poulton PLT

Can't find any photos. Possibly your first one! Big kudos to finishing. 8 mins back from the podium is a tough place to be but to finish and take full opportunity of the race earns my respect. Well done boys.


Krispin Gardiner MC4

Young un with a big field. Lots to come from KG. 14th and 3 min 38 secs from gold. Very good for the youngest rider out of all the MC4s.


Crystall Lane WC5 

Had all the golds this year in World Cup 1. Poland's Anna got her but only 11 seconds to gold!
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Matthew Robertson MC2

You should get a gold just for those highlights, Manny. Great hair that's what the public wants. Hair first, the golds will come. 11th and 1 min 38 off the podium. Closest to gold of all the off programme riders I believe!
Image may contain: 3 people, including Ben Watson, people smiling, people standing and outdoor


Simon Price MC2

Simon back again for more pain. He podiumed in Belgium and today came an agonizing 10 seconds off the podium but Simon'll bring it tomorrow. 

Millie Cass WC4

Am I right in thinking first ever Road World Cup? 6 min 19 off the winner and 6th place but 15 mins faster than 7th place and made it to the finish in one peice. Big kudos. 



David Smith MC1 

10th and 2mins 38secs from bronze but only the second road World Cup as a C1 so still checking out his competitors. Go Dave.